(Originally published January 27, 2008)

Dick, Button Up

As I mentioned to Momzilla, there hardly seems to be any figure skating on TV this season.  I'm not sure if it's because I've had less access to Canadian TV than usual, or if it's because I refuse to watch music-and-skating-extravaganzas (Wynonna, I mean you), but it's a relief to see the U.S. Nationals this week, so that we can see what's up with our old friends. 

First. let's talk about the commentators.  Is it just me, or is Dick Button becoming creepy?  Between his discussion of the sexual chemistry of the teen ice dancing teams, the narrow hips of the pre-teen ladies' skaters, and his spine tingles, I was disturbed.  And I think Bob Costas was, too.  That said, he could have been disturbed by Jamie Sale's hair -- girlfriend, why the soccer mom do?  And why were your pants so wide?  It's very depressing to see someone so cute look so busted, because it gives the rest of us no hope of being cute.  I have to give props to Dave Pelletier -- he was very insightful about the pairs, in particular, and a good sport all around, as he was in 2002 when he and a better-coiffed Jamie were robbed of their gold medals.  I'll give a B+/A- to Scott Hamilton and Peggy Fleming, who were both as appropriate as ever, though crowded out a bit -- but, Scott, try not to strain so much while commentating.  Seriously.

Given the lack of skating on TV, and the lack of people caring about skating gossip on mainstream gossip sites, somehow I'm the last person to know that Tanith Belbin and Evan Lysacek have been dating for almost 2 years.  Again, very depressing for those of us who are not nearly as stunning as Tanith -- if she's going for someone like Evan, what about the rest of us?  To be fair, she may not meet many straight men and her line of work.  And I've generally decided to stay away from college-age mens anyway.  But, it is food for thought.

On that note, I'm not sure that Rene Inoue was all that thrilled about the on-ice proposal from John Baldwin.  Maybe she's excited about getting married, but the public proposal, when she's busy trying to secure as many stuffed animals and flowers as possible, seems a little ill-timed, and it's so cheesy that it was probably cut from the script of The Cutting Edge.  That said, congratulations, guys!

As for the skating, some surprises, but not really.  It's hard to know who to root for, especially in the ladies, when phenoms come and go, and the status of the big stars (Michelle, Sasha, I mean you), is unknown.  That said, those teen jumping dynamos were all charming, and deserve their medals.  The pairs and dance were interesting, and Belbin and Agosto were really quite powerful.  I haven't finished watching the men's skating, but I can say that I am in favor of the pants with Asian dragon motifs. 

All this being said, I think the only answer to Dick Button is to invite more and more commentators, so that eventually he has no time to speak.  Seriously.